People Who Complain About "Cheap Fighters"

All of us who have played Street Fighter over some online system (yeah I mean PSN, why the hell would you use anything else?) have had the opportunity to taste sweet sweet victory, only for it to be soured by some sore loser who calls your fighting technique "cheap." This, to me, is a way for the losers to console themselves. Because let's face it - cheap fighting is the first thing us Street Fighter enthusiasts learn to counter. Ever heard of blocking, sore loser?

Being beaten by a fighter who just uses the same move over and over again says more about the loser's disability to play a character rather than the winner's ability to perform a set of button combinations over and over again. The most popular of these? Spam hadooken/sonic boom/whatever fireball motion your character screams out. How do you counter these? Being a decent Street Fighter player myself, I have learned to counter with the characters I primarily use. For example:

Juri: dive kick/fireball back. Once you're down there and they're trying to shoryuken/flash kick, ultra the hell out of them.

Ibuki: slide under, throw knives, dive kick.

Cammy: spinning backfist.

The solution for all other players that never fails? Certain ex moves, focus attacks. Scared they're going to shoruyken you as soon as you get close? Fake jump, then punish it. Can't kill a turtler? Yes you can, there's still chip damage. Let them stay there, punish it.

I'll be honest with you, world. I've been playing Street Fighter for less than a year. If I get this, how the hell can you sore losers not get this?

So next time you lose, before you go hating on the other person for being a cheap fighter, ask yourself "what the hell is wrong with me? Do I deserve to play this amazing game? Wow, I obviously don't. I should just go kill myself instead of sending angry messages to the obviously better fighter. Topical idea and such classy word play, I shall do just that!"

The end.